July 29, 2010: Dan Bern - Tiger Woods

Dan Bern - Tiger Woods: youtube.com/watch?v=U9i9njY1Vh0&feature=related

I wish I could just be the type who can be content with the every day, just getting through. No ambition beyond that, no drive, no striving to do good or better, just a contentedness in the daily life and moving.

I’m not talking about ignorance. It’s important to read and have some idea as to your environment, as to other peoples agendas, to point out the flaws in the systems to which you take part. But, with that knowledge, there are those who simply pass through the day into the next, living within their means and content. I guess I’d prefer to be a passive participant than an active participant.

Granted, I do what I love, mostly. There are always, though, aspects of those things you love which will cause you grief. I love playing shows, organizing shows brings immeasurable stress. I love writing, I sometimes lament the solitude of the act. I’d rather be sitting in a bar or a coffee shop reading and engaging in the occasional conversation. But then when I do those things I get a nagging itch that I should be home writing or organizing a show.

One of the best pieces of writing advice I’ve ever received was from Dan Bern. Someone asked him if he ever experiences writers block to which he said, “No. Sometimes I’m writing, sometimes I’m not writing.” I’ve tried to take this to heart, but my body aches to be creating when I go through periods of not creating. I get this kick that maybe I’m fooling myself and everyone around me when I label myself a writer or an artist or a musician. I don’t write songs every day, I barely even pick up an instrument. It’s still exiting to me but it becomes such a slow and agonizing process for my periods of inactivity and the fact that I am a slow and methodical writer. Every word has to fit just right before it’s complete and some songs have taken 5 years or more for this. And 9 out of 10 songs I write are either for myself only or an exercise or are just plain no good. As an artist with little output, how much of an artist can I call myself?

And that’s why I can’t be content with the every day. I know it’s something I can change but I don’t know that I truly want to. I married these ideas when I was young and I owe myself to see them to their death (which will likely be my own death).

There is a piece by Leonard Cohen where he states that he is not a real poet, that the real poet has poetry coursing through his entire being and cannot do but to be a poet, that he himself does not possess this quality and is therefore not a real poet but prefers this stance. Music and words run through my blood but I am not a real musician nor am I a real writer. I could live without them, a piece of me would die but I could turn my back if I wanted.