Neil Young - Don't Let It Bring You Down: youtube.com/watch?v=ilbgvmoF0VA
I bought the new Neil Young album tonight. I didn't even know it had been released. And one of my favorite local musicians sold it to me, someone I admire.
There have been a lot of changes in my life in the past year, amazing gratitude pours through me for it. I had reached a point where I was creatively stifled, unhappy, alone and looking at a future unfulfilled, unable to hold anything worth weight, its lightness. I remember being a kid and wishing there was some way to just go to sleep and wake up with years passed and adult and full to confidence. Then at my worst a year ago I just wanted to be able to get out of bed.
I've deconstructed that line so many times: "It's only castles burning."
It's terrifying and feels like more a series of misadventures than anything I've known. I admire most the people I meet who lay themselves bare and barely close their eyes to resting. The ones who pursue some sort of storming, unbelied of stillness but electric. My friend who needs of nothing and smiles. I heard two people speak the other day of an unfortunate incident, both in agreement to it's nature, one expressed shock and concern where the other said, "It's wonderful, isn't it?" As if acknowledged catastrophe can fill you with beauty.
And I've found insomnia to a degree. But still, when I sleep, I dream. And I love my dreaming to find more sleep.
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